To you few that have courageously stood so close with me, for so long,
Maybe a week or two ago I saw, really for the first time, sadly I didn't forsee as I could have, that you few would bear the brunt of the attacks on me and on my work, for two reasons - 1. You have contact with a wider circle than I, and B. I being the author of this venture, as you will be the author of others, have the most authoritative, and therefore, defensible view of it; and I'm a lifelong practitioner and survivor, veteran of exactly such ventures.
Maybe a week or two ago I saw, really for the first time, sadly I didn't forsee as I could have, that you few would bear the brunt of the attacks on me and on my work, for two reasons - 1. You have contact with a wider circle than I, and B. I being the author of this venture, as you will be the author of others, have the most authoritative, and therefore, defensible view of it; and I'm a lifelong practitioner and survivor, veteran of exactly such ventures.
I write the same, again, to you few, now, again, the only ones stupid enough, wise enough, Godless enough, Godly enough, ... 
to have stood so close to me for so long. Yes, I'll set myself up yet again, Jesus knew what he was in for. The Apostles, Peter especially, just couldn't, and didn't, and yet it is Peter that was most taunted and tortured - 'Weren 't you with the Nazareen?' Terrifying him. Traumatizing him.
to have stood so close to me for so long. Yes, I'll set myself up yet again, Jesus knew what he was in for. The Apostles, Peter especially, just couldn't, and didn't, and yet it is Peter that was most taunted and tortured - 'Weren 't you with the Nazareen?' Terrifying him. Traumatizing him.And now, with the prospect of Loving 'reneging' on dying just yet, oh what ridicule, taunts, pressures, negative splash back you will suffer, to your face, and behind your backs, do to having associated with me with such Faith, Grace, Wisdom and Courage for so long.
My only regret, for my person, is that this is NOT the time, may not be the time, for me to complete the Death Fast. Oh how I wish it were. I've written to you of my major 2 miscalculations, the 2 major issues I didn't understand, until this point. The death fast IS the correct weapon, and until we use it, until the conditions are right to use it, there will be no hope. But, 1. with I being the only one to have mastered it, and the only one having mastered, or even interested in mastering the 105 Characterisics, and 2. with no hint of 10, let alone 1000 to pick up the instructions, characteristics, the training, the elite forces recruiting... this may not yet be the time for my exit. NUMBERS MATTER. The True, Useful, Potent million is EASY, after the 1000 INSHE Warriors are recruited and trained, the task of Jesus not yet achieved 2000 years later. Oh, millions are already on the field, and have been for 15 years on the issue of averting environmental Armageddon, and will be for 15 or 45 more, but not the Bangladeshi's; and the millions currently on the field will weep crocodile tears for the Bangledeshi's, but the Bangledishi's will fricking die in the tears of those impotent, cowardly, self deluding, disgustingly removed and overprivileged millions, exactly the type of crap Jesus died to save the Bangledishi's, and the rest of us from, 2000 years ago.
The next generation bunker buster is being prepared, developed, brought to the world for completion and use by a specific first date. Will it be used on that date? No one knows. Will it ever be used? No one knows. When it is tested, the fact of that test, may be enough to dissuade Iran from continuing the same game of 'chicken' that didn't work out real well for the Iraqis. From the perspective of the war that the US may fight, does it make sense to have announced the next generation bunker buster, begun construction of it, with furious speed so that it be ready to use in time? Even though no one knows if it ever will be used? Yes.
I say all this in hindsight. It never in my wildest dreams occurred to me that I might be delaying, for 6 months, or forever the use of this weapon, personally. As I've written many times, I totally don't 'get' Gandhi's Oaths, Swearing's.... Oh, I 'get' them tactically, but not Righteously. Except in the rarest of strategic circumstances, the duty of a Warrior is not to carry through on a strategy, but to win the objective. And so it always will be with me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I envision any changes, in me, or in the battlefield, unfolding within my life regarding the Death Fast. Though always I was explicitly open to change. What kind of a cultist, or zealot would I be if I were not? But, partly out of duty to you few, standing as close to me as you have, I've endeavored to clearly discern within and for myself, and then to you, what and why I was contemplating these recent weeks, and days. And, I had as long as a month ago, invited your qualified efforts in any rethinking, an invitation largely ignored, as is entirely appropriate in your best judgement. A few more essays, notes, will come forth to you soon.
Though I share your pain of them (your pain is my pain), I don't regret the position you've put yourselves in, the pressures, strains you'll continue to suffer, even after you detach and distance from me, if and when you do so. "If it doesn't kill you, you grow." I've grown immeasurably, and infinitely faster, because of my relationship with each of you, than I'd ever have grown without, and for that I'll be Eternally Blessed, and Grateful.
And no matter what happens hence forth, I pray you too may be enriched by what association we've had.
More soon.
